Universal Soldier Regeneration

Odd film. Can't remember a thing about the original movie except that it was quite a laugh and may have had a big, cool truck in it. A big, cool truck makes any film at least 9% better. That is a scientifical fact. In this one, JCVD and 'I must break you' are um - regenerated. One of them from a freezer in a welsh fish and chip shop (lie) and the other from a living hell where an unbearably nice lady keeps asking him stupid questions about whether he's happy or hot or something (true).

Some stuff happens and lots of soldiers get deaded in what look like the belly of Battersea Power Station. A russian pit bull bloke turns up and spends a lot of time punching people in the face about 100 times more than is necessary. He really likes punching people's faces. A lot. He's pretty good at it though to be fair and it would be wrong to hold back his talent. JCVD and 'I must break you' wander in looking tired and haggard (the freezing didn't do them much good) and have a Sanatogen fuelled smackdown. The world is saved. End.

Why odd film says you? Because it's like 'Terminator 3' meets 'Children of Men' says me. The former because it's a threequel about unstoppable, killing machines with an ageing star and the latter because it's really bleak looking and surprisingly lo-fi. It all makes for a bit of an odd combination. Like if you were cracking a safe and you had to twist the dial to '3, 9, 7, 7, 1'. A glance at the end credits revealed that the director of photography was Peter Hyams. What's a relatively well known director (2010, End Of Days) doing mucking about as the D.O.P on this I thought? Ahh, because it's directed by his son said the end credits. Ok then. So while the film might have been a bit 'bleh' I did at least win myself some more movie-geek points.