Clash of the Titans

Quality Street were always the poor man's chocolate selection I think. These days it's all Celebrations this and Heroes that but even back in the day, you couldn't help but feel a bit short changed by the Qually Street. You'd still chomp away and enjoy them though wouldn't you eh? Probably only at Christmas too. Like dry roasted peanuts.

Very silly billy silly this new Clash of the Titans. Was never bored though. Story zips from one show-offy set piece to another and the creature designs and effects are done good. Liam Neeson looks lovely in his soft focus and glittery god suit of armour but he's a bit wet as Zeus. Have I missed something about Gemma Arterton? She's rubbish. Sorry, no more critical anaysis than that. She's just rubbish. Oh I know what did make me grinny grin though - Michael Ironside's in it for a teeny bit as another god in shiny armour. He always makes me laugh that fella, there's just something about him. Like Brian Dennehy. Snigger.

Several members of the audience guffawed when it was revealed that the stronghold of Man was in Argos. Actually that is quite a funny thought. Titans - stop all that Clashing immediately and proceed to Collection Point B so that an awkward faced woman with a moustache can ignore you for 10 minutes whilst she waits for a bread bin to roll off the conveyer belt.

If you likes noise and special effects and heli-style swooping shots for every new location and unclear editing in fight scenes and Ralph Fiennes earning a fortune for whispering and spinning about a bit - then look forward to Boxing Day in about 11 years when this is on telly for the 5th time. Get yourself some Quality Street and enjoy. It'll be perfect.